how could you possibly be happy when there are so many reasons to be miserable? fuck you for being happy. don’t blame this on the fact that i stopped taking my meds weeks ago or the fact that i haven’t been sober in two days, blame it on the fact that just about everything is fucked up and there’s nothing that anyone will do about it. why am i miserable when there are so many reasons to be happy? imagine the best thing that could ever happen to you. now imagine the worst. what if they happened in the same day? the bad will always ruin the good, and the good will never outweigh the bad. focusing on the positive is such a load of shit.
IF I COULD JUST LEAVE MY BODY FOR THE NIGHT
why is there porn on my dash at eight am
i get what i want but it’s always far too late
Don’t forget the nights when it all felt right. Are you not the same as you used to be?
I should probably stop doing drugs for a day or two
absolute inability to move or comprehend
Excerpts from Solo
Hi. I miss you. I miss you tons. I’m away right now, but when I come home, I promise we’ll have lots of fun. I can’t call you until I get to the airport next week, but I will as soon as possible because I haven’t heard your voice in so long. The last time we spoke was the day we planned to spend forgetting everything. I remember you saying that you had to stay with your grandmother while she was sick. It reminds me of the time when you cancelled our plans for your brother, which reminds me that I must accept that I am not what is most important to you. On a lighter note, all I can think about is coming over just to stay in bed for hours. I’ll bring myself and a couple of special surprises that I think you’ll absolutely adore. I refuse to follow any of your suggestions about my attire because I know that you don’t care what I wear because it’s coming off anyways. I’m writing this on water damaged paper because I have nothing else and writing to you distracts me from being afraid while I’m here alone. I could write about anything else, but nothing calms me as much as thinking of you does. I hope you still want to talk to me when I come home. I’m always scared that if I’m away from you for such a long time as this, you’ll forget that I love you, or worse, forget that you love me. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you because I went away. I want you to know that I will always love you, but that I needed to get away for a while because the bleak monotone which is my life becomes too much to handle; this trip is necessary to my emotional health because when I come back, I am stronger and I am ready to take on the world. I hope you can understand. I miss you more than you could possibly imagine.
bitch you just addicted because of what this dick did
fuh fuh fucking finals
why does this fucking shit keep happening over and over again
i could never hold you
all the years i’ve missed your warmth